Linda Fennell Coaching

Mind-Body Coach Inspired By Nature

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What I Learned About Suffering & Wisdom: A Helpful Paradox

October 9, 2019 Leave a Comment

I was recently reflecting on my last blog post about the ‘one big thing’ I learned that changed my life. If you missed it, you can read it here.

The one big thing I learned is: Real wisdom comes with a nice feeling.

What I was pointing to with that is that, if you are like me and humans in general, you have tons of thoughts and scenarios that play out in your mind all day long, some that feel good and others that don’t. Getting a feel for what thoughts and ideas you can trust and are nourishing and helpful for whatever you’re facing in the moment is invaluable.

The insight that real wisdom comes with a nice feeling has been a guiding compass for me. It helps me determine what kinds of thinking I can dismiss (like the kind that comes with an icky feeling) versus what is showing up via a nice feeling helping to guide and support me.

The helpful paradox that I’m seeing now is, wisdom is present in the not so good feeling and suffering as well. Though not in the way I used to believe.

I used to believe those not so good feelings with scary thoughts and scenarios, meant that something was seriously wrong with me or life in the moment, and I needed to analyze and figure it out as quick as possible.

Maybe it’s looked that way to you too?

Now what I see is that those uncomfortable feelings, emotions, thoughts and scenarios are like the ruts on the edge of the highway that alert us when we are drifting off the road – they let us know we’ve gone off course.  Those uncomfortable feelings are present to alert us to NOT trust or take too seriously the thoughts, feelings and stories that are showing up in the moment.

… what if we paused instead, in those moments and waited for better feeling thoughts and ideas to show up and guide us?

What I keep seeing is, there is a beautiful, deeper intelligence that supports all life and there are ways through even the most difficult seeming experiences. Feelings of despair and hopelessness are guides from our deeper wisdom letting us know we are seeing life through a distorted lens and have innocently gone off course.

It’s like riding a motorcycle and getting caught in a storm. Motorcyclists know that the best thing to do when that happens is to pull over, find a dry spot if they can and let the storm pass. Once the storm passes they’ll have clear conditions to enjoy and navigate their ride again.

What if your innate wisdom/intelligence works the same way when you pause and get out of the way?

What if, when you’re in the storm of uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and emotions it’s best to wait for it to pass, knowing that you’ll have clearer helpful, fresh ideas that are perfect for whatever you need in the moment when you wait for your inner skies to clear …

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What people are saying about the program:

“I am so, so pleased that I participated in the ‘What if?’ programme. I wasn’t sure that I had any particular bad habits that I wanted to stop, I just wanted the chance to work with Linda and Melissa. But this course has been amazing. I realised that I have so many ways of thinking that are like bad habits, especially when it comes to insecurity. It’s hard to put into words how helpful this course has been in seeing how my thinking is creating my reality from the inside out, and how that can change things. This has made such a difference to my life, and I am confident that it will continue doing so going forward.

Linda and Melissa are the most lovely coaches you could hope to work with – they are both so kind, enthusiastic, warm and encouraging. They put everyone at their ease and it was wonderful to take part in such a friendly and nurturing group. I know we were all sad when the 10 weeks came to an end.

I will be the first to put my name down whenever Linda and Melissa come up with a new group or offering. Their work is like magic. I couldn’t recommend them more.

~ Kelly, UK”

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